It was so interesting to watch the latest installment in CNN‘s In America documentary series. “Gary and Tony Have a Baby” is the story of two men who choose to enlarge their family by having a child via surrogacy. The logistics of their quest, the bittersweetness of their journey and the precious result—their son, Nicholas—was both touching and commonplace. As a straight ally, I know how important it is that shows like this are aired. In the world outside of New York City, what Gary and Tony have done may seem as strange as walking on the moon. The telling of their story, along with their many variations, are crucial in the long-term battle for human rights in which our BGLTQ sisters and brothers find themselves.
But, for me, Gary and Tony and Nicholas are more than the subjects of a documentary. They are my congregants, members of the church I serve, and I can’t help wishing that CNN had talked about that. It bothers me that the show spent time explaining the Catholic parish that dismissed the reality of their relationship, but couldn’t spare a word about the Unitarian Universalist community that has welcomed Gary and Tony and dedicated their son.
No, I’m not a publicity hound. But I am an unrepentant liberal religious evangelist, and I think we all need to be. There are millions of BGLTQ singles and couples and families who care about their spiritual life, but don’t know that liberal religious communities like Fourth Universalist are waiting to welcome them. There are millions of straight people who want a growing relationship with the Holy, but don’t want any part of a church that treats gay and lesbian people as less than human.
I can’t expect CNN to do my work for me. But it would have been wonderful if they had brought the arc of the story to completion, and included footage of the day our congregation dedicated little Nicholas. We promised to help guide his feet, to support his parents as they helped him grow; we dedicated him to a life of love and service and promised him tools that would help him on his life’s journey. That is a promise available to every person who joins a Unitarian Universalist community, and it is radically different from the faith of Gary and Tony’s childhood church. It would have been great for viewers to know that, somewhere out there, there are churches that stand on the side of love, congregations that mean it when they say what we say at Fourth U every Sunday morning: “Whoever you are, whomever you love, wherever you are on your life’s journey, you are very welcome here.”
